I’m sitting here mid afternoon listening to you breath steady hum of the hospital bed mattress keeping you comfortable here in the living room where you have brought up your family.
Sringe driver increased dose today keeps you comfortable. You have declined this last week. Cancer…..
Your a hard man, a grafter but the pain has taken the glint from your eye.
I tell you what’s going on around us I’m taking your dog patch out, that Jeffery your son my husband will be here after work.
Always “Jeffrey” full title never Jeff.
The picture of you and Nancy hangs over the bed in younger years with your mop of dark curly hair you look greek both smiling and happy.
Memories of the past family parties birthdays, anniversaries when you and your twin brother would arrive dressed the same we would laugh knowing you hadn’t planned it. I can only imagine the trouble you two caused when you were young lads handsome and cheeky.
Before your women tamed you.
You and your Nancy.
Douglas and his Ethel
You had always been close.
Bringing your children up together. Holidaying together.
Ethel was the life and soul of the party few drinks and she would hold up her skirt dancing around with her infectious laugh. It’s a good few years since she left us cancer took her too.
I wondered how Doug would cope without her.
Now I can’t imagine how this family will carry on without you Malcolm.
Sixty plus years Nancy has loved you and your children and grandchildren idolise you.
Douglas your twin your other half. He’s never known life without you by his side.
My Jeff was run over suffered massive brain damage as a child you told me you couldn’t go to work as a lorry driver without him screaming the house down. So you would take him with you up and down the country. From here in Wales up to Scotland. I’ve never been I told you.
Go you encouraged there is no where like it.
You gave jeff car engines told him to take them.apart then rebuild them you always believed in him
He is amazing just like you are your boys run their own garage they rebuild camper vans do mots any engine Jeff can fix it.
When you and I sat talking few weeks ago you told me you’d also taught Jeff to build ‘ go and look at the fireplace in front room you winked twinkle in your eye.
You had built it.
The garage overlooking the bay. Did you build that too I asked.
“no that was Jeffery you laughed he built me a garage then put two horses in it and used it as a bloody stable!”
You are so alike. Peas in a pod . Father and son, friends.
We laughed cars and horses that’s my Jeff
That’s our link our connection Malcolm we both adore the same man. How can I thank you enough?
I sit here while your Nancy sleeps for a little while she had seldom left your side
I whisper thanks and promise I will look after your lad.
That we will take care of Nancy
I bet Ethel will be there waiting and your best friend Jock. What a party that will be Malcolm.
As Dad’s go I don’t know a better one I wish I had known you longer
When you go I whisper come back sometimes and see us I think I feel you squeeze my hand.
I whisper again to my goddess to take you gently carry you on this last part of your journey. Keep you safe
My heart hurts but I remind myself I’m blessed to have had you in my life.