Save me from the mundane
Pull me back into your world.
Make me feel alive again.
Remind me that I’m your girl.
Burst my irredesent bubble of invisibility.
Wake the passion within me.
Tell me that you still see.
The wild and untamed rebel
The one who stole your heart.
She calls to the world from deep within me.
Finding it hard to play her part.
I know that I have wondered
Far away from your side..
I’ve been lost in barren places
Where my past and demons hide.
Many times you’ve come to my rescue.
Carried my soul back to our door.
Wrapped me in a cocoon of unconditional love
Keet my monsters behind a steel door.
Lunch time you don’t really see me.
Sitting by the huge school bins.
Hiding with my dog.
Hating being in school.
Listening to the dinner ladies
Spouting the same old monologue.
Angry on the inside
Quiet and shy on the out.
Screaming inside my head.
But unable to let it out.
Scared by all the feelings.
Going on inside my head.
Wanting someone to make it better.
Or wishing I was dead.
My escape is drawing, painting and writing.
Imagining a better life
A world were things are wonderful.
With no one to hurt you
Or school bullies and family strife.
A world where lumps in your throat
Don’t block the words you need to say.
Where families love each other.
In a loving normal way.
But drawing painting dreaming.
Are not going to change this world.
So I will keep this label of a rebel trouble making girl.
It’s a beautiful day rainy but mild I have slept well push the kettle switch as I pass on my way to the bathroom. Nothing unusual about today.
I stand at the bathroom sink water running brushing my teeth. Outside the window the birch trees blow in the wind . It reminds me of the woodland outside my bedroom window as a child.
My heart beats a little faster and I close my eyes to stop it.
Flash and I’m back there, different bathroom black skirting boards bubbled glass window old black cistern on the wall above my head. Faded blue wallpaper flying birds peeling at the edges Old wooden bathroom cabinet cracked mirror on its door.
I stare into the mirror the crack distorts my face as it always does dark brown frightened eyes look back at me. Footsteps and creaking floorboards on the landing. I catch my breath. The black bakealite door knob twists back and forth from the other side of the door. I open my eyes look at the bright yellow toothbrush. Heart bangs even faster.
STOP! A voice says loudly. My voice.
I’m back here.
The wind is still blowing the birch trees.
The tap is still running.
My cat Luna rubs against the bottom of my legs.
I look into the mirror there is no crack.
In a flash.