Author Archives: Raven ❤️

About Raven ❤️

Musings and magical workings of a traditional witch mountain wondering poet and dreamer. Lover of all things magical. Life is always beautiful, but sometimes hard. if you don't like the way things are change it. Raven🖤

Flight & floating mystery

So on my way back to South wales from cannock driving down M6 past Birmingham airport.

Overhead flies a bowing 747 coming in to land.

Now I’ve never been a fan of flying probably as my head can not work out how such a huge lump of metal weighing 439,985 kg loaded with people bags food fuel can FLY. yes I googled it.

It completely spins me out!.

So then Jeff goes on to tell me that equal to approx 8 40 ton lorry’s duct taped together.

How?

Then he says cargo planes carrying tanks ect are even heavier 🙈

My head hurts.

He’s no hysterical laughing.

Is it just me? Does anyone else have a problem with the how is this even possible?

Discounting witchcraft.

One woman on a besom is far more easier to comprehend.

I also had this problem six years ago as we boarded P&O cruise ship the Ventura.

It was a 50th birthday present for jeff.

Now I’ve been over to France when I was 16 on a ferry and to Isle of man and of course I was expecting something a little bigger.

But f@@k me it was huge..

As I stood next to the smiling man who took my car keys at the dock looking up at the huge building like structure. I wanted to get back in my car.

How was That going to float?

Sixteen floors of restaurants dance floors swimming pools and people?

Don’t think about it Jeff says. It just is.

I have a theory.

When I was a kid there was a massive Co op shop in town where at Christmas you could que to see santa.

His elf would seat everyone on a beautiful decorated magical sleigh fairy lights would flash brightly scenery would pass snowy cabins and mountains of the noth pole as the sleigh rocked to and fro.

Exited children would then be shown off the sleigh and now magically they had been transported to Santa’s workshop in the North Pole!

We we’re definitely not in the basement of the local co op in a small northern town.

It was magic.

So maybe Santa’s sleigh builders progressed to building boeing 747 and huge cruise ships.

That has to be a much more understandable explanation.

😉

Fingerprint memory jewellery

I love crafting. Wood has always been my favorite to work with. Runes, wands, Pyrography. It however has taken a back seat this year I’ve been busy with other things plus I managed to spectacularly burn down my beloved shed in March I say spectacularly as it was full of a year’s worth of wood I’d collected stored to dry which was all ready to be used for various projects so when I went out to walk my dog and arrived home a hour later to a fire engine blocking the canal bank and a house full of firemen who by the grace of goodness had got there in time to save the back of the house and give me a well deserved row for forgetting to switch off the tumble dryer. I was slightly more than a woops moment.

So as I said no seasoned wood to hand I was looking for something else.

I attended spirit of awen camp in August and met a wonderful lady who works with P.m.c ( precious metal.clay) jade moon you can find her on Facebook her work is out standing she is a true artist.

I loved the way it looked and shall eventually own a piece of her work.

Anyway I was looking for something I could make to give to families for soul midwife patients I’d worked with something personal a keepsake .

Jade’s work came to mind so I rang her to ask if pmc would work with fingerprints?

She gave me some pointers on moulds ect and I have to say I’m hooked.

I’ve seen fingerprint jewellery before we’re it is an actual fingerprint put onto silver. You know the type the police use.

I wanted to mould the print.

Then the mould is reusable so I can keep it and make as many pieces as may be required for the family.

It’s took me a few weeks to crack it. And a few failed attempts. Precious metal clay isn’t cheap!

It’s 925 silver when it’s fired.

I managed to buy a old tiny kiln (goddess bless e bay)

This batch ready to fire I’ve used a leaf shape I’m so pleased.

Beautiful silver fingerprint on a leaf pendant.

They will go to the family as this year’s solstice gifts.

And yes I’ve remembered to unplug the kiln!

Belief what is it?

Trying to explain my own understanding of the spirit world to someone else. A hard task

My belief that it really does exist here where we are now. Just a different vibration. Like radio channels.

Communication with spirit is like fine tuning a radio to the channel you want.

Spirit do the hard work we open up and invite them

No it’s not faith it’s a definite. I know without doubt. I suppose so much so that I have never really contemplated not ‘knowing’.

Although I didn’t have the best childhood I had the best Grand mother.

I can trace my acceptance and knowing, seeing, spirit to her. If you’ve always known something it’s normal I guess.

Well normal to you anyway

Death was never something to be feared.

Although religion was part of it for my Nan and my Mam both active spiritualists I went because they went, not because I wanted to. Thursday clairvoyance and divine service and healing on a Sunday. Charles Street spiritualist church a tiny church compared to some the organ a gift from sir Thomas beacham covered one wall.

The church stood at the top of a street of terraced houses in St Helens. The house next door ajoined after service it was used for healing and gathering of anyone needing a chat over tea and Buscuits or shelter from the cold northern weather until the bus arrived. Visiting mediums no pomp or robes just the same as you or I, mam or Nan

Yes we sat in circles in church or some folk ran closed circles in houses

People died services would be a life celebration in the small packed out church. I carried my Mam’s coffin in there 1997 a warm.day in May.

My children beside me.

Although I missed her physical presence her car boot sale finds watching the soaps with her I knew she was okay and life went on.

Her empty seat beside her best friend Dot in church wAs the saddest part they were like sisters and I remember wondering why Dot was so upset now that Mam was on the spirit plane?

It was another vibration but here around us I knew she was still about .

I had three young children to keep me busy a single mom with a barbers shop to run.

I moved away my belief was never dependant on a church I still worked with healing, tarot followed the moon and found my own way.

If I ever went back to my hometown or to Southport I’d attend church it seemed to have shrunk but it’s seats remained full.

I lost more relatives and good friends they say as you get older you attend more funerals than weddings. How true that is.

I work as as soulmidwife and funeral Celebrant so that’s a given.

I can honestly say I accept and respect other religions whatever gets us through.

But as I started by saying I’ve never had to explain my unwavering belief.

Until now.

My daughter in law to be. Mother of my grand daughter has recently lost her mother.

My best friend and she is desperate for ‘evidence of spirit.

Now I’ve had conversations about what I believe before.

I’ve done readings.

Received messages during a healing but this is so different.

I’ve known her since she was 13 she wouldn’t mind me saying she was a bit of a wild child. I loved her from the day we met.

No interest in anything spiritual.

Her mother and her were so close .

I know too much to give a reading.

And oddly or not this is the first death I’ve struggled with.

I miss her too beyond words could describe. So now as I remember Mam’s best friend Dots tears as she sat beside Mam’s empty seat in church.

It’s a lesson I’m sure it is.

Everything I’ve always known still stands firmly .

My daughter in law is the age I was when I lost my mother.

Maybe things were different because although Mam and me were very different people we both held the same belief?

She died in tragic circumstances but I remember thinking she would rather be where she now is.

It’s a fragile thing life I think.the only answers I have are to be the best that we can in the time that we have.

She rang me my daughter in law last night to share memories of her mother.

She said ‘ I can’t imagine not seeing her again for so long ‘

So I think.its that concept of ‘time’

Hours, days, years…. A life time..

Spirit don’t have it.. ‘time’ that is.. only we do on this earthly plane..

They are free

They are here they never left.

Just as my grand mother promised.

I needed you Donna to remind me and show your daughter the way.

Canalside flood South Wales U.K 2018 storm Callum

So for those of you who don’t know our area I know that’s most of you. We live in a small village in South Wales called Aberdulais.

Our street is on bank of the Tenant Canal a row of terrace cottages which were built for tin plate workers in 1800 stone built two up two down.

Behind the cottages is a disused collery train track, then wait for it the neath canal.

The river Neath then runs across the top of our street. Then higher up the river is a junction where two Rivers meet.

Bridges, arches and aquaducts add to the landscape of this liminal place that we call home.

I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

It’s a special place canalside walks ducks, geese and most importantly an amazing community. We are a true melting pot eclectic in every way.

Call me an eternal optimist but I really do believe that most people are inherently good. Canalside has proven that again this week our community pulled together and got on with it.

I cooked for everyone, my hubby Jeff my son Mike and the men dug trenches to drain water we baled with buckets as the water ran into the back doors of the cottages and out of the front.

My next door but one neighbor had only moved here in April his house was one of the worsed hit. .

Vicki and Dai are a young couple who both work hard for what they have they have two small childen their house was ruined Vicki’s beloved piano laying on their sofa in an effort to save it as water and sewage ran through their home.

We have our house and also own the Retreat no 28. It’s a community interest company. Everything I do benefits the community providing restbite breaks for cancer patients therapies & workshops we run on a shoe string the water ran it the Retreat too

So here we are no one complaining just encouraging each other helping and supporting where the council, environment agency and welsh water let us all down.

Now I’m not political at all. .but three years ago envoroment agency and council did a dummy run in the street with flood gates showing us what would happen if there was ever a flood threat.

Gates were fitted sand bags brought I for one felt reassured there won’t not be a repeat of 1995 disaster.

BUT…..

Yesterday there was.

The rain started Friday early hours. storm Callum was approaching Wales.

Whilst at our son’s wedding reception in Swansea we received a call to say come home the street is being evacuated. The river had risen so much it was flowing over the top of the aquaduct and the canal was fit to burst.

We rushed home expecting agencies who were issuing the warning to bring us promised flood gates and sand bags..

They didn’t arrive 7am sat morning when most houses were already baling water a small council flat back arrived issued us all with two sand bags each..

Yes two which they placed at the front doors the door where the water was escaping. The water was entering the back.

The council Professed to know nothing about gates.

A few hours later water rose through the drains toilets sinks spewed sewage mixed with rain water .

Fire brigade arrived and scratched their heads where could they pump it too?

They left. Local councilor came to the British legion at top of street dressed in Wellingtons. Had she come to bale water.

Afraid not she too left.

The only one that stayed was the rain.

From 8am until late last night we worked as a community together I’m so proud to live here.

T.v crews came people stood on the bridge to watch.

Eventually the rain stopped people’s flooring furniture possessions now litter the canal path houses are ruined

Most of us have no flood insurance why. We can’t afford it.

So is anyone to blame ?

Well this afternoon Welsh waters clean up team arrived (who knew they had one)

We told them what had happened.

Can’t have been the drains they said

But it came through the toilet sinks baths manhole covers.

Not our fault they said.

We live on a flood plane shouldn’t we have bigger drains?

Or storm drains I asked.

No idea came the reply.

So as grateful as I am for my wonderful friends here where we live we are getting there the clean up is in full swing.

Things could have been much easier.

So environment agency where are our gates? And where you joking with your two sand bags? Wonder if we had a M P living here would we have had more.

One of my amazing friends Becky drove over from Lougher to bring us floodsax amazing gel filled bags that works much better than sand. Much easier to deliver but cost more .

So I guess no one want to take ANY responsibility for the way we a small street families with small children, babies and elderly where ignored offered evacuation but precious little else.

Don’t tell us it wasnt the drains houses now small of human excrement.

Families need new carpets new furniture dehumidifiers, the list goes on.

But we will get there we have no choice this is our home. This is our family and we will fix it.

Hekate my strength.

hekate 1

Mother Hekate,

Give me the strength I need.
Dark mother goddess of the underworld mountain wondering queen of witches.

Hekate frequenter of graveyards crossroads and liminal spaces keeper of the keys.

Psychopomp guide of souls take my loved ones hand.

Protect her with your hounds

Wrap your saffron cloak around her shelter her.

Goddess of the places betwixt and between places where I find comfort places I belong safe places.

Under the avenues of Yews I hear your voice in the breeze as I wonder amongst the solitude of the tombstones and the trees you are there beside me your saffron cloak billowing in the breeze.

Along narrow dirt paths of our beautiful mountain I see your beauty in trickling streams in budding shoots, rotting tree stumps decaying flesh picked by the crows and Ravens.

Reminders of the infinite circles of life and death.

I stand by your cross road next to the rushing terrifying power of the river I am reminded of a women’s strength.

Of the strength within me. Passion I bide my time and hold my words.

I am reminded that I am part of you and you of me.

I leave offerings of honey and eggs I light incense in your honour.

Thank you as always you are there when I need strength and wisdom.

I stand alone and watch the smoke trace its way above me above us towards the stars into the universe.

Essence of miracles home to the light divine, source of all.

I hold onto your mother as you lift high your torch unlock the mysteries that guide me through the shadows.

Back to myself the universe never ending unconditional love to you.

Mother you guide us home.

Bless me mother for I am your child.

Soul midwife problems.

As a soulmidwife (end of life care) part of my job is to support my friend (friend is used to refare to person I am working with never patient or client.) to think about and write end of life plan.

This is something that give back some control of a often difficult situation

I’ve been doing this for years we often start with a sort of bucket list.

Wish there anything that you haven’t done that you would like to do. This can be going somewhere, contacting estranged family members, writing letters, contacting or writing to children given up for adoption, writing to an abuser (trying the letter to a balloon.or burning it ) often helps and instils a sense of calm.

I’ve had a 72 year old lady who although quite frail wanted to ride a roller coaster we went to.ride speed a hair pin sort of ride at oakwood. I neednt of worried as she squeeled with absolute Glee and rode it another four times along with other rides.

We make memory boxes this helps tremendously. Thinks like photographs, letters birthday cards for the future. There are no rules

Practical things like where would you like to die?

Home, hospital, hospice?

Pain relief would you like to remain as lucid?

Obviously this is reviewed.

But first and foremost I am there for that person as much or as little as they choose.

To listen to hopes, fears, non judgemental confidential. Because often there are things that a person with an end of life diagnosis can’t tell loved ones. No mater how close

Blogging or a paper journal is something I suggest as I know I don’t have to convince you but writing things, thoughts, fears down helps.

We go shopping, I go to appointments and support friends to make informed decisions about their treatment. A few months ago I worked with an amazing lady who had a incurable brain tumor. She had been operated on and had numerous chemotherapy treatments all of which made her feel dreadful.

She decided that what time she had left she wanted to feel as well as possible. I went with her as she told her oncologist her decision. He was wonderful. As we left he asked her if she had any plans.

She smiled widely at him ‘im going to Cardiff with Joolz on the train, first class we will have lunch at the bay then buy shoes and handbags’ that’s exactly what we did

It’s an amazing job, I don’t get paid. I’d hate to think that if I charged that someone may need a soulmidwife and think that they can’t afford me.

I also have a holiday cottage on the banks of the tenant canal where end of life friends can have a long weekend or a week away from home with free therapies on hand.

Then there is the matter of a funeral plan.

Family often loose a loved one and suddenly realized that they have no idea on issues like burial or cremation, what cemetery, ashes scatted or not.

Religious or humanist service is a big one.

Families often believe that loved ones still hold same religion as they were christened.

After facing cancer or other end of life diagnosis people often start to explore what it is that they believe in. If anything.

I am spiritual but I completely respect any religious or non religious views or beliefs if I work with someone who is eg. Catholic and asks to be read the Bible or attend Mass to have me work with guided visualisation including Jesus or god. That’s exactly what we do.

Muslim, Jehovah witness pagan you get the picture.

I’m not always there at the end but if that is my friend’s request and I can be I am.

This can often include vigiling at home or hospital alone with my friend or with family

And again within the plan we have agreed on certain things. Often people want to know you are there beside them.

Gentle touch of hand massage, reiki healing, being there with a family member talking chatting reading.

Checking and reviewing pain levels.

Calling in family when requested and agreed.

Some people want just a chosen few around their bed. Others all the family.

After death I am often asked to brush hair sit and talk for awhile longer, opening the window coving a mirror stopping the clock.is a very old tradition alot of elderly people want upheld.

I often then have to hand over what that person wanted

For the most part families are respectful of their loved ones wishes and they are usually aware of my involvement.

Often I have managed to get them to address any difficult issues like organ donation (not cancer patients) or I’m.leaving all my money to the cats home.

The list of e.g where I will be taken.

Home or funeral director.

Embalmed or not.

Cardboard or wicker coffin

Natural burial site or Cemetery or cremation.

Life celebration in the community. No vicar, priest.

A humanist life celebration. With a chosen celebrant to deliver a service that we have already compiled . If this is the case just memories from family and friends are added afterwards.

This is often held in any non religious building eg. Community centre, public hall, garden or home. Or simply graveside.

A wake afterwards or a party.

Colours to be worn no suits or black.

A difficult on is is there anyone you do not wish to be there? In reality some people have a particular person that upest them.in life and they don’t want them at there funeral.

What clothes or shroud.

Open or closed coffin people to come and visit in funeral directors or at home or not.

I can also make finger print molds and craft silver jewelry for children or family members.

We write letters to children or family or short notes.

I worked with a lady who had two children. She ordered her own wicker coffin and used it as a blanket box until it was needed.

This showed the children it wasn’t a scary thing. When mum died and was placed in it at home the children sat with her write notes and tied them with ribbons to the casket placing favorite toys and photos with her.

This is a example of how death used to be.

Not clinical but part of life. People died at home in familiar surroundings not in white rooms surrounded by machines and healthcare staff who don’t have time to sit.

So to sum up it’s about giving back control and choice

Walking a sometimes scary path sharing tears and laughter memories and secrets that have sometimes never been shared.

It’s a privilege and a honour and when things go to plan I can sleep easy in my bed. Knowing that I’ve kept my promises

I was encouraged by an amazing friend of mine after I told her of a conversation that I’d had with a few of the people I work with.

They had asked if I would do their funeral or celebration as their celebrant. I didn’t feel qualified and so I decided to train as a celebrant I now am able to follow the journey just that bit further the service is often written together. Religious, humanist, spiritual. Again exactly what and how that person has requested. They have on final goodbye so I aim for it to be as perfect as possible. They often write most of the service with me video footage even let’s them take part in the service. Not for everyone but whatever is right for you.

As I said earlier I work with any faith or religion over the last eighteen months I’ve walked this journey with Donna my best friend. She has planned everything.

Believe me nothing left to chance. So not just as her soul midwife but her friend and confident I promised things would be exactly as she wanted.

It was nothing complicated compared with some plans that I have dealt with.

Number one was absolutely no religion. None! She asked me to conduct a spiritual end of life celebration.

NO church. No Hymns promise me she said don’t let my mother or anyone arrange anything.

I want a celebration in Port tenant community centre NO BLACK no formal Wear colours rainbows and pride flags

Will you be my celebrant she asked.

Of course again I promised and we set to work outlining her service her day f celebration Things she held dear issues that were important but mainly about her role as a Nan and a Mam

She wanted a burial, a cardboard coffin not to be embalmed. As I said nothing left to chance songs were chosen

Pink who knew..

Boy George star man

Gavin and Stacy islands in the stream

What could go wrong?

Well I’m sure there is a lesson here for me somewhere. But as yet I’m failing to see it.

My heart breaks at the thought that I’ve let her down.

I arranged with her sister to see the community centre to check the size.

Crossed wires meant I was sitting waiting outside the actual community centre Donna wanted.

Her sis was outside St Thomas church hall. In Swansea just around corner

Now from previous experience I’ve never come across a church hall being used. But the lass showing us around assued us that this was possible . That was okay it was a hall not a church. Bigger on the same estate.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing I wish I has spoken up and said actually we should stick to community centre that’s what she asked for.. but not wanting to upset anyone I didn’t .

The vicar Mr Steve bunting via the funeral directors then says actually no you can’t have it in hall.

But Donna can have everything she wanted EVERYTHING if you come into church.

It didn’t sit right with me she didn’t want a church but I was assured he was nice guy he would allow all the things she wanted .

Not so..

This bloody funeral he exclaimed at our first meeting. Unprofessional.

He then tells us he can’t have a Celebrant do a service in his church. Isn’t that part of what Donna wanted? Why didn’t he tell us that last week when he promised everything. We could have rearranged?

He now says he has to deliver 90% of the service.

The one that Donna and I wrote from our hearts.

He has made off the cuff comments about me re tarot cards and spirit boards before he had even met me.

I’m presuming he f.b me.

Judgemental preducice and rude.

What would it have mattered Mr bunting she didn’t want someone who didn’t know her someone she hadnt met talking about her

It broke my heart Donna of all people for things to go this wrong for. I promised I fulfill her plans

So my random girl, I’m beyond sorry. Really I am.

One funeral you get and I can’t fix it if I could I would.

I have booked you the best drag queen I could find you promised your friend Susan Cheryl and Wendy that when you felt better you would have a night out with cocktails and a drag queen.

You shall have it my friend.

My other promises I swear I will keep.

Our grand daughter Emillia I will love her enough for both of us. I will take her to all of your favorite places take her camping talk to her of magic and fairies.

I know that you are never very far away and I will talk to you often. That you know I have tried to give you all that you wanted

I love you my random friend come talk to me soon.

Here is a poem given to me after the first funeral I took. Encouraged by Donna.

My friend Ian was 49 amazing a man’s man had been a army man.

He would tease me that poetry was for girls .

Never catch him writing it.

After his funeral his sister thanked me gave me a check as a donation for my work and this poem.

I’m beyond proud to have know him

May he journey on safely. It’s called the Last Goodbye
Cancer was the catalyst that founded our friendship
Without it we wouldn’t have met.
A soul midwife I expected someone nursey maybe serious.
That Joolz is exactly what I didn’t get.
You came into my room like morning sunlight.
Bringing me life’s energy love and fun.
We made plans for things I’d like to do exactly my way.
Talked of my life and all that I’ve done.
I’ve shed a few tears, but we’ve laughed so much.
If it needs saying I know I can say anything to you.
Complete unconditional acceptance it’s not just a ‘job’ to you.
You’ve walked along a path I found scary
Gone before me with what to expect.
Taken worry from myself and my family.
Always treated us with love and respect.
You have a way of just fitting into families.
Into a Joolz shaped space we weren’t aware was there.
To make plans to reassure, take me to magical planes
I’d never even dreamt of before
Now when sleeping I dream of new adventures.
The wonderful places and things I haven’t yet seen.
You’ve given me the courage to go further explore without feeling frightened.
My eternal friend
Soul midwife Earth angel who needs no wings.
I know that as I leave you will be there waving and cheering me on to adventures new.
As you go on in life as a soul midwife to others know I’ll be around to cheer you on too.
Thank you.
Xx Ian.

.

The problem with grown up children.

Here I am lying in bed pondering a question only women of a certain age will think.
Do grown up children every completely move out?
You see I absolutely adore my children. They are my reason to breathe.. But…
Oh yes there is a but.
I live in a small two up two down stone cottage.
I say small it’s actually bloody tiny.
So after my youngest (he’s 27 not a teenager) moved in with his pregnant girl friend I imagined I’d have a spare bedroom and some wardrobe space.. a desk maybe with a lamp a space to write over looking the canal. Sigh.. (the photo is the view from my bed. (Yes really)
It doesn’t take a lot to please me.
Nor may I add do I have lots of clothes so small amount of wardrobe space will do fine! Some women have walk in wardrobes 10 hangers will be fine..
That was a year ago.
I have a beautiful new grand daughter I adore. And a daughter in love who I love like my own.
But probably even less space. Yes less…
My eldest granddaughter (12) has taken over my spare room proclaiming ‘Nanny it’s not spare it’s mine’ play stations and a avalance of Mac make up sets of books, hair extensions precariously balanced crockery towers. You get the picture.
My son has moved out but his girlfriends house is only two bedrooms so he can’t possibly take all his fishing gear, electric guitars (three of them) more shoes than emelda Marcos and a wardrobe full of clothes and numerous electrical appliances .oh and a bike. Because ‘ mam we have a baby do you know how much space their stuff takes?’

I refrain from answering unsure if it was a statement or a question. I’m looking for my phone as we are having this conversation.

Mam he laughs you can never find anything!
No son said item is probably buried under a mountain of fishing gear bike and shoes.
He smiles at me tells me I’m the best and what’s for tea tomorrow because they are calling over. Ring me I say with a smile. Who knows I may not have found my phone.
Pass the wine.